Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The City Needs My Help.

Well, it's obvious Olivia has not read my letter or is choosing to ignore my helpful advice. This week's episode of The City opened with a Christmas party at DVF where weaselface was acting pretentious and entitled to her poor co-workers yet again. I seriously got dizzy from the eye rolls. The only good part about this scene is everyone was talking about their holiday plans and no one could give a shit about what O-Hag had to say. At least someone is reading my posts! And DVF seemed to be speaking to all of her employees except O-Hag, which is awesome.

Next we have Adam having a conversation with some fuchsia eyeshadow about who is better at Scrabble and if they should move in together and kick poor didgeridooer Jay to the curb. I have no idea why Adam is asking some fuchsia eyeshadow to live with him because he is supposed to be dating Allie, and she is obviously not in this scene.

Cut to the loft Xmas party that Olivia is too upper crust to attend. All of the girls are wearing questionable head wear and Erin shows up looking like the Ghost of Christmas Hot Mess. Erin, you better watch it, your open letter is coming.

So The Ghost of Christmas Hot Mess and her Toronto based folk rocker Duncan "Not" Chic are at said party and JR, Hot Mess' High School beau shows up. Duncan "Not" Chic gets lippy and tries to start a little drama with JR who looks like a former basketball player and could kick is scrawny indie rocker ass. Below is a picture of Duncan.

Besides the fact that he is super hairy and The Ghost of Christmas Hot Mess is way too cute for him, he looks like Goat Boy from SNL.

Am I right or am I right?

So Goat Boy gives Hot Mess the cold shoulder and tells her to figure her shit out more than twice. Hey Goat Boy, Hot Mess is a disaster, if you want stability you need to move on homeslice!

Well, we are unfortunately subject to seeing Nevan and all his nastiness sleeping on O-Hags couch yet again. A jeweled necklace that looks like something from The Monkey's Paw is wearing Olivia in this scene and she tells Nevan that she is extremely tired and worn out from carrying twice her body weight all over New York.

Adam and Jay have a chit chat about him moving in with fuchsia eyeshadow. Jay is hurt and tells him to it would be one thing if it were Allie but to ask him to move out so he can shack up with fuchsia eyeshadow is just low. Adam can find his own didgeridoo music somewhere else.
Finally we have New Years Eve and the gang has plans for a house party. Erin has changed her look and is sporting a Pocahontas headpiece and a weepy, mopey attitude about her split with Goat Boy. Her and Whit Whit who went shopping in Sharon Stone's Casino wardrobe head over to the party where didgerdooer meets them.

The theme of this party is sequins and Jay shows up looking like a Chippendale's stripper in a sequined vest and top hat.

Allie and Adam look wasted and ignore Jay and Whit Whit. Jay consoles Pocahontas and tells her he's sure Goat Boy will call and wish her a Happy New Year. Cut to the scene where crying Pocahontas is on the balcony checking her empty voicemail and my husband asks me if she is going to jump. Didgeridooer asks Whit Whit and her gold lame dress if he can stay with her because Adam is wearing a sequined banded top hat and he is freaked out.
In conclusion, Whit Whit lets Jay stay with her because she feels obligated since he helped her when she move from L.A. Jay quickly makes himself comfortable and starts flapping his Aussie gums about cooking for him and Whit Whit is about to slap the taste out of his mouth.
The End

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