Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Thank You and Good Night

Last night was the finale to a far too short series of Bravo's Real Housewives of New Jersey. Instead of a recap, I feel like a big thank you is order.

Dear Beverly/Danielle, Thank You for showing me the later effects of Botox on once normal eyebrows.
Thank you for showing me that a 26 year old man can look older than a 45 year old woman.
Thank you for saying pussy on basic cable and making the world cringe.

Thank you for putting Cop Without A Badge on the dinner table/my summer reading list.

Dear Dina, You are more or less awesome and I truly mean that. Your the mother of Lexi who seems like a good kid and not a spoiled brat. Lexi may hoard stuffed animals under her bed and a candy factory in her drawer, but you have the good sense to say things like, "That's Gross" when she told you she was going to wear a bikini top and shorts while in Greece. More importantly, you are the owner of Grandma Wrinkle the cat and that makes you a star in my book.

Thank you for bringing the phrase, "I Cannot Stomach You" into my life.

Dear Jacqueline, Thank you for "staying out of it". YEAH RIGHT!
But seriously, I like that your husband Chris told everyone they were acting like a bunch of fools. I couldn't disagree more but at least he had the balls to say it.

Dear Teresa, You are pretty much like every girl I grew up with and that's a good thing. Thank you for teaching your kids to say, "Fabulous!" when they pose for pictures and thank you for showing the world what happens when someone is out of line at a dinner party you are hosting.

Thank you for flipping that table while screaming, "Prostitution Whore!" at the same time. You are not only a beacon of class and elegance, you are my hero.

Dear Caroline, There are no words. Thank you for EVERYTHING!


The Townhouselady said...

A-Friggin-men! said...

I am rolling on the floor, that is the best post!!!!!
Love it!!

Newburgh Restoration said...

This was tooooo hilarious! But I'm sorry, Danielle should just crawl under a rock after all the nasty dirty laundry she aired out about HERSELF!

Laura [What I Like] said...

Oh my god I know. But I'm still wondering, was it Dina behind the whole book fiasco?!

Newburgh Restoration said...

Even if she was oh well! Did you see how uninterested that 26 yr old was in her? He just did it to be on tv, and to get his regular B-Job....AND her kids KNOW that the men come over just to get the "goodies." But then she tries to tell them wait till your married! Not when the harlot is your mother! Probably all that stuff in the book is true! LOLOLOL

Paloma {La Dolce Vita} said...

Awesome! You took the words right out of my mouth. :)

Lucinda said...

Hey Newburgh Restoration -

TWO THINGS: Name Change, and she was arrested, PAY ATTENTION!


Chloe said...

These people make my heart happy. They make my heart sing. I am so sad that Bravo only gave us six episodes.

BRING THEM BACK! You can dump those OC floozies for all I care. RHNJ! RHNJ! RHNJ!

Haven and Home said...

Seeing how The Real Housewives of NJ was my guilty pleasure of late I knew I need to stop by when I saw your picture on another blog. I am so glad you did. My husband had to come see what I was laughing out loud at. That particular moment is was the part about Dina. You are so funny.

PS- I then went to your The City intervention about Olivia and I COULD NOT AGREE MORE, ugh she drove me crazy!

Jill said...

I can't believe the season is already over! I still have the two last ones on my Tivo to watch. The NJ version has been really interesting for an anthropology class. These women are so unlike any woman I have ever's fascinating!

CynthiaJay said...

Now I feel semi-bad that I missed the whole thing! (Or would I have needed to shower after each episode?)

Jill said...

Watched the last two episodes just now. Shock and awe!